What comes after Trump?

What comes after Trump?

Great debate, guys. Keep it up.

As a foreigner looking at the US elections from Europe, I’d like to give you my two cents. Bear with me: this is not another anti-Trump rant. Those are (too) easy, they’re like making fun of Kanye West. We have too many of ‘em, and they’re not bringing anything to the plate apart from unnecessary pathos.

Of course, we could act all morally superior and talk about his racism and what not, using high-falutin’ words like “pathos”. What would that accomplish? We’d be accused of being educated snobs (oooh! Education! Baaaad…) failing to grasp what Hegel called Zeitgeist or, in Trump-speak: ya just don’t get it (Do check out my book, “Philosophy for Rednecks”, featuring chapters like, “Kant’s Categorical Imperative: Don’t shoot me chickens if yer dont want me shootee yee chickens”, “Pierce’s Semiotics: Of course snow is white. Whatcher, stupid or somethin’?” and “Nietzsche’s nihilism: Fuck all y’all”).

My point is that I really don’t understand the incendiary rhetoric around the guy. Trump didn’t appear ex nihilo (sorry, “out of the blue”. Philosophy for rednecks, ch.3, p. 45). His ideas aren’t some sort of alien virus infecting nice, amiable North Americans, à la (sorry, “like, ya’know”) Invasion of the body snatchers.

No, Trump is the natural reaction to progressivism in any country. We have tons of those in Europe: people who arbitrarily determine what being “French” is and reject all changes to the status quo (sorry, “the way shit is”. p. 76, op. cit.). You know who I’m talking about: OLD PEOPLE.

That’s who is supporting the guy, people with OLD IDEAS. More like feelings, actually: Trump’s “ideas” are inexistent, inapplicable or downright stupid. The discussion moved away from rationality (sorry, “thinking about stuff in a logical way”) long, long, ago. Because, seriously: who watches Fox News? Do you know anybody who does? Of course not. It’s OLD PEOPLE. I mean, I’m forty years old, and I don’t even watch television anymore. I barely turn it on when there’s a live football match (wait, what is it? Snooker? Soccer? Whatever it is you’re calling it over there nowadays). So you can imagine a 20-year old has no use, at all, for bullshit programs where idiots wearing ties go off about (snore) Ayn Rand or scream that Obama’s from Africa.

Expert on Islam and Marxism takes a stand

What I’m saying is that it is normal that a bunch of conservatives feel uncomfortable with “America” in 2016. They, just like conservative Europeans, want to go back to the idealized belle époque of their youth (sorry, “when we was kidz”). This is a laughable state of affairs: everyone wants to go back to their America, which was “the real one”, of course. Nobody says, “America was truly great in 1905. Then my Grandfather, Father and me came along and we fucked everything up. We were bad immigrants”. Of course not, just as Europeans don’t propose everything was fine and dandy when people were adoring the cult of Mithra but that afterwards, all those Christian migrants came along and lay that paradise to waste. “Make Europe great again: vote Dionyssios Bacchanal party. Build a wall with Christians!”.

So now that I’ve got your attention with my cynical tirade, let me lay it on you: This is what is going to happen.

Trump isn’t going to win (sorry, “ain’t gone’ win”). Calm down. It ain’t happenin’ y’all.

Why? Because this is what has happened up until now: A bumbling buffoon makes President thanks to daddy’s ties and takes to assaulting the English language, while sniggering at “experts” and “scientists” ‘cause, what do they know, right? You can fool me once, etc., that was funny and pathetic, but little more. Then, there’s a reaction to -gasp- the first Kenyan guy President of the US. A Communist who doesn’t want sick people to die because they’re broke. And… Presto ! A soccer-mom appears lowering the bar to unthinkable depths, if that was possible. She doesn’t understand how the most elemental things of the world work. She doesn’t get, like, how old the world is, or where the countries are. But that was fun, right? Not fun-fun: sad-fun, like the Indonesian smoking baby, fun.

Enter Donald, with his shenanigans and nonsense. Too ridiculous to be taken seriously. No content, no discourse, no rationality. Discussing Trump’s “plan” is like talking about Bush Jr.’s “paintings”, or whatever those godawful tableaux were.

So let me reiterate: it’s OLD IDEAS upheld by OLD PEOPLE who are afraid of change. Change was fine when they were the ones managing it, in their youth. That was cool, this is too much.

 

Think of it: when your Grandmother was young, black people couldn’t ride the bus wherever they wanted. Women didn’t smoke. Drugs were illegal, and you barely had a handful of those around. Casual sex wasn’t really a thing. Movies featured people prancing and dancing around every five minutes. Boring, 4×4 Black Sabbath rock was considered “Satanic Music”.

Now, Grandma has a black President. Women file for divorce if they want to. People are scouring pharmacies for legal medicine that’ll fry their brains, or snorting bath salts while listening to music with no lyrics. We have apps to hook up at any moment. Di Caprio got raped by a bear on screen for five minutes, in HD. People send dick pics via a cloud.

Did you really expect Grandma to be fine with this? Of course she’s going to rally around the white guy proposing walls and mass deportation. Heck, I’ll probably be a reactionary douche in 40 years’ time, too. When people are teleporting everywhere and wearing a Google Helmet all the time, sticking their penises in a socket to get off and injecting themselves with who knows what; of course I’ll back a Candidate wearing a flannel shirt and proposing to go back to the ‘90s, whilst blasting Pearl Jam all over the crowd…

 

Meanwhile, not only is Trump not going to win, but young voters will age, and old ones will die.

 

Which brings me to my final point: what’s the future of US politics?

The GOP is a caricature of itself. They’ve tea-bagged each other (wait, it’s tea-bagging, isn’t it?) into Trump land. None of them, not Cruz, nor Rubio nor the other clowns has a shot with young voters. They’ve alienated the party and gone off the deep end.

That’s why the Right-Wing in North America needs a rebirth. If they ever want young people to vote for them again, they have to separate themselves from the clown car of the GOP. Republicans will just get worse: they went from “W” to Palin to Trump; Hulk Hogan will probably be the candidate in 2020.

Personally, I’m far from being Right-Wing. But I do believe certain ideas within the neo-liberal context deserve to be discussed. It’s only by weighing these ideas, by confronting them and having a discussion, that I understand why I stand where I stand on certain issues. Unfortunately, as things are now, I don’t have anything to discuss. Muslims? Mexicans? Walls? Borders? Don’t be ridiculous.

I miss you, Right-Wing. I miss your half-baked ideas about a State-less Market Economy, and your myths about rapey Architects being super smart and rising to success. That’s why I think if you want to “save America from Trump”, you need to work on the after-Trump. You’re screwed now: that ship has sailed. Hordes of Conservatives will abandon your egomaniacal sociopath if Hillary runs for the Dems. You’ll have to live with that.

On the other hand, you can prevent a Hulk Hogan 2020. Or a Kanye West. Something ridiculous and embarassing down those lines.

The ball is in your court…

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